Sunday, April 10, 2011

Without a Choice

Betrayed by a body
Female
but not a woman
Or so I was told once
The ability to love
not enough
Who was it that denied me
this most basic gift?
When I was formed
in my Mother’s womb
was that when it happened?
Equipped with all the eggs
I would ever need
and never use
Forced out with
Needles
Drugs
Left to wither
Unattached

Here I remain
with monthly reminders of all that
I could not be
could not carry
SCARS
the only things that grow
Inside
plaster pasting my organs shut
And as I live out
my final years of blood
letting it slip out
like a cloudy river
Will I one day accept
this fate
this fundamental deformity
Accept
its consequences
good and bad
or will I continue to live
in jealousy
hatred toward a body
unable to
Create?

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